Saturday, January 21, 2006

Voices in my Head

by BB

There are legion and personally I wouldn’t want it any other way. There are many advantages. One is that I am never lonely. I’m suspicious of those who claim to have only one voice in their head. It suggests to me that they are only interested in themselves. They are never wrong and always blame others for what ever goes wrong. Many of the one voice type tend to be right wing and fundamental. Canada has many voices and they all deserve consideration.

A disadvantage I see in the many voice type of people is sometimes indecision. They get caught in a loop of questioning whether a decision is right.

I don’t suffer that loop. I make a decision – I have listened to the internal debate then I decide quickly but not in a knee jerk impulse.

And if I am wrong? So what!

If I were afraid of being wrong I would be paralysed. There is seldom any harm in being wrong. The only harm is not reworking the decision to make it right.

Course there is another side of the many voices… A dangerous side.

A man with a homeless appearance is ravaged within. He has a caved in look and his mouth working out loud reveals those who now inhabit him and who now stare out upon the world. I don’t make eye contact, aware of my own path, I know he is lost in the shadow world and therefore I will give him no sign.

That may seem cruel to you my fellow bloggers but to engage such a person in the wrong place at the wrong time is dangerous. Of course if that same man is lying in the street give aid. But to engage someone who has the appearance of a mad preacher is pure folly.

Despite my own advice I sometimes engage. It is my own damn curiosity about life and the world that draws these lost souls to me. I can’t hide it. They see it in me. On one such occasion as a person was telling me that I was cursed and was going to die a horrible painful death I began to sing a lullaby “Rock a by Baby”. Every situation is different what might work in one might not work in another. In this situation the man joined me in the chorus of the lullaby. Then we went our separate ways.

Poor fearful lost souls…

It’s not the voices that are the problem. They have an illness. I have neither the skill nor the ability to deal with their illness.

We had one such gentleman at the CAA conference that I had to engage. I took him by the arm and led him out to the street. I locked arms with him. He accused me of trying push him down the steps. I was firm but gentle with him.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read this on a bulleting board in a church basement and liked it and put it on my fridge:

"To live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong."

I'm not sure I have voices in my head. I observe people, I listen, I have inner debates, inner conversations... the place of action seems, even though the brain is involved, more to be in the heart area. I've had at odd times voices speak to me, but they spoke from deep inside me, adding a dimension to my awareness/ insights, leading to more questions.

Be interesting to hear how that works with others? Do we have a male, female division, A logical, intuitive division?

I act on my intuitions. Even though I know that almost 100% they are surefire right, I second guess myself a lot. Go through hell for a while and then things turn out anyhow. Logic tends to destroy my confidence.

No voices in the head and being leftest as can be, green, 'sthat a contradiction? :)

Anonymous said...

The universe is a bowl shape - if you go far enough left you end up to the right. Same thing happens with a straight line - it will meet up at the beginning point again.

Hey, are you sure the green party is left? Some have put it right, except for it's environmental platform.

And are issues of the environment left? The Koyota (sp) Accord is centralist.

I heard on the radio that a study (of course, no reference given - it's a 'faceless' study & therefore may be urban myth) tells us that men get pleasure when someone who is guilty of something receives a mild electrical shock; women do not get pleasure in the same situation, but feel for the person being shocked, even though he / she is guilty... Who are right in that situation? Men or women? And what would happen to the world if we all thought the same? Either we'd be run amok with terrorist/bully/murderous thugs, or everyone would be hung for every crime - steal a loaf of bread to feed your children? Death!

In the cases of the voices in the head, I think BB's are voices of the heart, too.

Some of the greatests artists have heard voices, and some of the most diabolical criminals...

I'm not sure intuition/logic is a male/female split. I think it's mainly personality differences - a Meyers-Briggs thing.

Men, perhaps, might call it gut feeling. Sounds more masculine than intuition...

I know some women who are dominated by rational thought, and others who are dominated by intuitive thought. I think perhaps intuition is logic at a fast speed - the speed of light - much faster than the speed of regular thought. Regular thought is more linear, takes its time. Intuition calculates/rationalizes all the variables all at once, and leaves us with an overall "feeling" or impression...

Intuition is logic on speed...

I've learned to recognize and listen to my intuitive self (which, according to Meyers-Briggs, is my dominant way of dealing with the world), but also to understand (admit - lol) that it is no "better" than the ways that other people think - in the ways of perceiving the world that are dominant for them.

It is indeed an interesting place, this thing called existence...

Anonymous said...

I never thought or meant to imply that one way of thinking is better than another. Making the division male/female is not accurate if you think man/woman. There is male/female in all of us, right?

On my walk today to and from Waterloo, to the Alan and Weberstreet crossing, with Simon, I paid attention to how much thinking feels in my head and how much around my heart. I am just curious. The heart part is sure active. More maybe like a receptacle.(sp?) If I think hard and a frown forms on my forehead,that must be because of an active brain.

"Voices in my head" just made me wonder where my voices were. And I am interested how others experience them.

I like, "Intuition is logic on speed". Sounds like being on drugs. Did you mean that, Xena? It can also be named logic in the fast lane. Or, who knows, faster than light, you know it before you think it...effect before cause.

No, I actually doubted, while writing it, that the Green Party is left. I am not even sure what it means to be left. In Holland, the Workers Party was left, (Democratic Socialistic)meaning not at al conservative, rather radical. I thought that the N.D.P. was equal to that. Don't find that so much anymore. As it is not like that anymore with the Workers Party in Holland. The whole world seems starting to be dominated by conservative/fundamentalist thinking. Holland, Germany Britain, the States... Canada too?

I would like to vote for a party that has clear principals. I would like to know their true believes, and that those are their goal. I despise the mud slinging and ripping apart of character...

I don't like to need to vote for a party to keep the other one out. It makes me angry that we stay stuck to that system. I like to see smaller parties have a chance to be part of a good opposition. To bring in a different voice.

I would sure like to see a strong voice go up for environment and wildlife.

I believe the Green Party has that voice to be heard now. What would happen when they grow big, I do not know. My choice party in Holland when I was 18, grew corrupt and wishy washy over the years. Growing big doesn't seem to be the healthiest thing for political parties.

Well, that's my perspective.

Larry Keiler said...

WT, Larry heard the leader of the Green Party on the radio a few days ago and his position was that left/right was increasingly irrelevant in Canadian society, perhaps most of the world. Each country has its own definition of left/right. To Yanks, all of Canada is left. Swedes and Finns are beyond the pale. (Look up the origin of "beyond the pale" if you can...)

In Canada, the "Liberal" party embarked on the most fiscally conservative program in memory under Paul Martin, finance minister.

Our constitution tells us we are supposed to get "Peace, Order and Good Government." A sensible approach tells us that this should mean conservative finances and progressive policies in other areas. The Green Party seems to have tried to balance this, with the added factor of using innovative financial policies to convince people and businesses that progressive (environmental) policies can be profitable. You have to talk to business in language it understands.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Larry. I'm glad you talk to me in language I understand. I hadn't heard the expression 'beyond the pale". But I seem to remember that Sweden and Finland were always neutral, not taking a stand. 'sthat what it means? I probably remember that from discussions I heard at home about war matters.

I understand 'having to talk to businesses in language they understand.' In the education system, when we had to plea for funds for keeping quality in our programs, we had to learn how to speak so it seemed to be to the politicians/ capitalists's advantage. Sentimental talk got you nowhere. They listen to you politely and vote like you were never there.

And talking about education. I heard of a five year old who was expelled for one week from the blocks area in class because he spoke loud and built a tower of blocks too high.

When I told my friend Rose, she angrily recalled reading in the newspaper how in the American school system they have decided that all children should be equal, and therefore they are lowering the standards of learning so the slower children don't have to feel behind.

Anonymous said...

Yep, I meant drugs...

Hey, WT - I wasn't implying that YOU thought one was better than the other, I was talking about ME. I used to think that way...

And hey Rose, don't get angry! The standards of learning aren't necessarily being lowered so slow kids don't get left behind - flip the viewpoint - you might say the school system is finally recognizing it has to serve the "slow" kids as well as the "smart" kids. The smart kids will usually make it through life - with or without the school system's help. That's not necessarily true of the "slow" kids.

And those kids with the blocks. Maybe that little kid is really a bully (lol) and HOGGED all those blocks to build his big tower, and wouldn't let anyone else play with them!!! Ya gotta learn to share your blocks! And not be a blockhead! Or else ya can't play! (That's pretty left-thinking, huh?)iLAUGHLAUGHLAUGHLAUGH.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Xena, those are possibilities about the kid and the blocks. Sure. Somehow I don't believe so. I know the mom, the kid, and the school. I hear a lot of stories from other parents of safety matters taken to the extreme. My impression is that the thought is that high towers may fall over and hurt someone. In that case, what happens to free expression, to imagination, to ability?
In my classes I used to let the three and four year olds build towers as high as they possibly could. I supervised and when the wobbly thing stood, I let them stand back and throw balls at it to topple it. Great, hillarious fun.

I am not so sure that the smart kids make it in life anyhow. They get used to things coming easy to them, and later on when they need to study, they don't know how to. The strugglers who have to really work, seem to be doing better later on.

Lowering standards doesn't seem to me the way to do it. Make it possible to work on different levels gives everyone a chance. At the pre school level it is obvious how children learn differently. They are not smart or dumm. Some can do numbers already or spell but have no clue about colours. Some can tell time, but forget again later. Some are practical and good helpers with cleaning up. Some are dreamers and take no pride in organised or clean.

I always think that if there was imagination enough in board of education thinking, that the open area concept they once followed would work if they didn't throw aside basics. It is important in the kind of society we have, that children learn to read and spell properly and do basic math. It will take some longer than others. Help them but do not make them feel dum when they are slow. The result of lowering standards, making the learning easier, could create bored children, who will use their energy in a negative way.

Well, I should get off my hobby horse. :) Since I am not Samantha the witch, no wiggle of the nose will clean up the house and get me organized for going away on the retreat.

Anonymous said...

WT, I agree with what you're saying to a degree. My main point is that the vast majority of people within school systems and other institutions do work in the way you are saying - day in and day out - good people promoting creativity and good learning practices.

I'm not sure standards are being lowered in schools in the way you and Rose are stating; there's a danger of making blanket statements that might not be true. Literacy surveys show that the skills of youth are much higher than the "older generation." I'm also not sure opportunities aren't available for those of all sorts of abilities. I know Sam had wonderful opportunities and learning experiences at Eastwood Collegiate - and that was a publicly funded program available to all who have artistic abilities and leanings. Sam also works at a fantastic preschool setting - again amazing opportunities for all parents and children without cost to them - the Early Learning Centres are funded by the Ontario government. Parents can get breaks, kids can play and be stimulated, there are toy lending libraries, free programs for parents to learn parenting skills... These are all creative initiatives started and supported by institutions and that are being well utilized.

I think of Bob and others I know who work within municipal governments - another institution that is often maligned. The initiatives that I see being undertaken are good - from building pathways along the river so we can enjoy it, to the huge effort taken to refurbish an old factory into a school for architecture. And the City of Kitchener funded the CAA conference - they listened to this little grassroots group and responded.

Thanks for the discussion, WT, BB and Mr. Keiler. It is good to be able to express opinions! That's enough from me - I'm taking my blocks and going home...

Anonymous said...

Good trip home! Hang on to your multi purpose, colourful blocks.

Larry Keiler said...

Beyond the pale:

If you're interested, go to this web page: http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-pal2.htm

It has a complete description of the phrase.

If you're not interested, the modern meaning is "beyond the limits of acceptable behaviour...out of bounds." Most literally, it means out of bounds, because the "Pale" derived from a stick driven into the ground as part of a fence. The "fence" then became, especially in Russia, a restricted area, a ghetto for Jews, called the Pale. If you went outside the area, you were beyond the pale.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Larry. I did look it up. There is also an Irish history to it. But that doesn't give the story about the 'pale' as a stick or stake. Realy interesting. I was way off on my dreamed up explanation.(: Language is so facinating. I always had the idea that I would like to study languistics, like a university course. But it never happened, and there's more involved to still do it than I'm willing to invest in.

Anonymous said...

Whew, that was quite a READ... I've been an AWOL blogger for awhile, so I had a lot of catching up to do. My main task is trying to figure out who is who. Wild thing, that's Netty. Also no brainer (hardly)? Also W.T.? Marianne is Xena (the warrior princess?) hmmm... Larry, I got that. Bobby Bacon, yep. Still, I may need a cheat sheet by my computer screen to keep up with y'all... interesting debate, Xena and W.T. Re Bob's blog, not sure how many voices there are in my head. Definitely more than one. I'll mull that over and get back to you.